Week Twelve

It's been a good week.  Boy do I need a pedicure.  My feet look disgusting.  I feel like I have made some good progress with my work outs and had a really good week with diet.  Also, I found out I will have the opportunity to work with a running coach while I am in Denver in May.  I am excited about that.  His name is Douglas.  My brother has been working with him for a while now.  Speaking of which, check out this link and make sure you watch the video to see Jared in action with his running coach!

http://www.denverpost.com/lifestyles/ci_22867939/triathlon-running-colorado-douglas-wisoff-and-ironman-races

Yeah.  Jared's kind of a big deal making the news and stuff. :)  I am pretty pumped this guy is willing to spend some time working with someone as untrained as me.  I am also nervous.  Looks like I am going to have to schedule a follow up visit and go to Denver more often.  I love Denver.  I am still a little shocked that I am this excited about improving my form for an activity I largely dislike.  Hopefully, improving my form will make it easier to do and easier to enjoy.  I also picked up a new book at the recommendation of my brother.  It's called Born to Run.  I read it when I am at the gym and try to draw out motivation.  It's a good book, but it isn't making me run any faster.  Damn.

So my workouts for the week: I have been increasing my daily workouts to 80 minutes three times per week and then 2 two hour workouts as well.  Saturday is either yoga day or rest day, Sunday is the opposite of whatever I did on Saturday.  It has gone well.  The weather was beautiful today so I did my jogging outside today.  I wish it was strictly jogging, but there is still a lot of walking going on. 

I still had my normal sessions with Jason.  He continues to change things up each time we meet.  So this week we did an exercise that made me feel like I was on a dog sledding team.  The sucky part: I was the dog.  Essentially I had on a backpack with a rope attached to a sled of weights and I had to walk as fast as I could for 40 yards, take a breather, then turn around and do it all again.  I was just waiting for Jason to start yelling "MUSH! MUSH!" (at which time I would have punched him).  Lucky for him, he didn't.  It was hard as hell.  Particularly when "the weight" on this thing was him.  Yep.  He stood on it and I had to drag him.  Let's just say I was tired when we were done and on Thursday everything hurt.  Walking was a struggle, sitting down looking more like falling into my chair, and getting dressed felt like cruel punishment.  Note to self:  DO NOT tell your trainer you "haven't really been sore for a couple weeks".  They WILL, I repeat, they WILL find a way to make you pay!

My feet are killing me.  Up until now it's mostly been the Plantar Fasciitis and cramping.  The pain on the top of my foot has improved by lacing my shoes a little differently.  Now my left foot, just behind the joint of my baby toe is killing me, as well as an area about an inch below my ankle.  No swelling or redness, but really painful, particularly when I try to run.  I fear that it could be the result of a bunion.  I really hope not.  My mom had surgery last summer to correct that issue. By the looks of my left foot, I will probably have this procedure to look forward to in the future as well.  I am fairly certain this is a combination of poor form and my weight.  I would really like it though if this pain would tone itself down for about 5 more weeks!  Let me get through this training and my trip to Denver then I will be more than happy to tend to the pain.

I met a couple people at the gym that are training for the Iron Girl Triathlon in August.  They asked if I was interested in joining their team.  I don't think I am quite ready for that kind of endeavor.  It's a sprint tri.  I think a triathlon would be more fun, but I would need at least a year to prep for that.  It would also take a significant cash investment.  I would need to purchase a good bike and multiple swimming lessons just to try to get through it.  Maybe if I get a BIG raise.  

My nervousness continues to increase each day.  I feel really good, but still very unready.  This week will slow down at work (yay!!) so I will be able to get more sleep and can focus more on diet and exercise.  So that is week 12 in a nutshell.  Only 4 weeks from tomorrow!  How scary is that?  I just hope I can finish.  Thanks for keeping up with me!

Week Eleven

"I'm not a good runner, but I'm better than someone who doesn't run at all."
        ~"Sully" Sullenberger

I picked up an issue of Runner's World while I was stuck in the airport last week.  I came across this quote and had to chuckle.  No matter how ridiculous I look when I run, at least I am out there, right?  I will have this quote plastered to the bathroom mirror, on a piece of paper in my wallet, on my fridge, in my gym bag, and pretty much everywhere else I can think of until this process is over. I had put together a pretty tough to-do list for this week.  I failed.  Miserably.  I did make it to the gym, but the two-a-days didn't happen and I only lasted about an hour on each workout.

I dropped the ball on diet this week.  I guess not so much "dropped" the ball as slammed it into the ground.  I am a little ashamed of myself. I hate dieting!!  I wish I was allergic to all junk food and only had a taste for lean protein, fruits, veggies, and whole grain.  Wouldn't that be grand!  Oh and of course my appetite would suddenly go away after just one serving.  I better keep dreaming.   Anyway, I picked up a book this week that a friend recommended.  It's called Eating Mindfully.  If you feel like you have a  not-so-great relationship with food I would highly recommend it as well.  Several years ago I got myself started on some bad habits when it came to eating.

For a long time I kept myself very busy.  In high school I was active.  I had school, dance, cheerleading, more dance, a part-time job, and so on to keep me running around all the time.  In college I took a full-time schedule of classes and worked at least 30 hours per week as a server and bartender, still finding time in there for football and parties.  I started working for Toyota and quickly found I needed to have a second job with that as well.  I would start work at 7:00 a.m. then head straight to the job number two that was either bar tending or working retail.  I was regularly on my feet for hours at a time, running around, and eating on the go.  I never really had time to taste my food.  I would just inhale whatever I could going from point A to point B.  After moving to Texas, things slowed down (including my metabolism).  I was still working full-time, but no second job.  My stress level had increased ten fold.  I was still chomping down meals while doing something else, never really just enjoying a meal.  Until I started reading this book, I didn't realize just how bad this habit was.  I now have more time on my hands, but haven't really taken the time to adjust the way I eat.  This is my newest task.  Trying to establish a new routine with the way I fuel my body.  Wish me luck.  It's going to be a tough adjustment.  It probably sounds really stupid to those of you who are blessed with self control when it comes to eating.  I do not have that gift.  I have been able to kick soda out of my life, so I guess I can be reprogrammed.  It's going to take some major will power and planning.  Ugh.

I was really excited to get back to the gym.  Could this be a glimpse of the mysterious runner's high?  Me, excited about a workout, especially one that is going to hurt?  Maybe?  I must say, I killed it in my PT sessions.  I could tell Jason was pleased to see me come back and hit it hard.  I was very surprised at how well I performed, especially after the drinking and heavy food for four days straight.  I can really feel a difference in the strength of my legs.  I think this is in large part due to those damn squats.  Flexibility is another area where I am gaining ground.  I'm still waiting to see results in the form of a shrinking waistline.  Jason tells me this is likely the last place I will notice it.  He tells me the first place the weight shows up is usually the last place it leaves.

Running is still very, very difficult.  I sound like a broken record.  I bet you are just waiting for the day I start an entry with "I LOVE RUNNING!  IT'S THE BEST!  I FEEL GREAT!"  Well, stay tuned.  Maybe I 'll surprise you.  I continue to find myself very frustrated.  I am experiencing some new foot pain.  I don't think the cramping is ever going to go away.  I expect that if this is something I stick with that I will always have this issue.  In the last 3 weeks or so a new pain has appeared on the top of my left foot and outside of the left foot.  One of he guys at the gym re-laced my shoes to help take some of the pressure off the top.  I can't tell yet if it's working.  Plantar Fasciitis is still a nightmare. I am probably not helping the situation by pounding my feet on the ground on a regular basis, but I only have five more weeks to try to make this thing a reality.

Five weeks: not nearly long enough.  My insecurities as a rookie and the fear of failure come to mind every time I set out to the gym.  In my head I know that even if I only last one hour that is still a big accomplishment for me.  The thing is, I don't sign up for things that I am not 100% certain I will do well.  I'm ok with not being the best, but it's important to me to be well above average.  I've been this way for as long as I can remember.  It gets me totally pissed, too.

I have a trip to Denver planned for the weekend after the race.  I plan on either celebrating a personal victory or drowning my sorrows at the Derby Party.  While there, I am hoping to be able to set up a couple appointments with Jared's running coach.  It can't hurt to consult the pro's.  I probably should have done a little more of this in the beginning.  Ah, the clarity of hind site!

I was checking out some other races in the area.  There is another 1/2 marathon in Bethlehem, PA in October.  I have considered signing up for another one to keep a goal out in front of me.  I have feeling that I will read that in 5 weeks and respond with an emphatic Hell No!  I think another race would be good, but I think a Warrior Dash or Hero Dash might be more fun.  We'll just have to see how this thing goes next month.

My More Realistic To-Do List For The Next Week:

1.  Gym.  6 days a week.  No excuses and giving it hell every time.
2.  Continue to schedule enough sleep.  I feel like this makes me sound lazy, but over the last week when I didn't get enough sleep it was a nightmare to keep up any part of the rest of the routine.  The last week of the month is always extremely stressful and unpredictable.  The more rest I get, the better for all parties who interact with me on a daily basis.
3.  Eat "mindfully" and make time for meals that aren't eaten at my desk, on the couch, or in the car.
4.  Stretch, foam roll, repeat.  My I.T. Band and Plantar Fascia need the most work.
5.  Morning workouts are happening this week.  Even if they are just 20 minute ab routines, morning yoga, or the kettle bell video, there will be some fat blasting or stretching and toning happening in the living room.

Thanks for sticking with me for the last 3 months!  We're almost there!!

Week Ten

I'm late with my post this week in large part due to over indulging while in Chicago.  Excellent, much overdue, and somewhat detrimental to this process, yet much needed for my sanity.  I was able to make some long overdue visits to some great friends, not to mention meet some kick ass new folks.  It's incredibly likely that my day of binge drinking and debauchery replaced much of the good I have done over the last few weeks.  It was a great weekend that wouldn't have been complete without a 4 hour delay at O'Hare.  This delay helped a little.

I was killing some time in terminal 3 so I headed to Starbucks.  I started chatting with a lady sitting there.  She had on some awesome running shoes.  When I complimented them she mentioned she had just completed the NYC Marathon that weekend. I (a little too enthusiastically) replied with "REALLY!!??  I'm doing my first 1/2 in April!"  I started picking her brain.  It was her first race.  Her training sounded a lot like mine and she said she had to do a lot of walking.  This scared me a little bit because it was clear that this lady was quite fit; far more fit then me.  If she had struggles what on earth have I gotten myself into??  She said she had never even completed a 5k and only trained for about 6 weeks.  She finished, but said it was hell and she was in a crazy amount of pain.  Awesome.  Pain.  I hate discomfort, let alone pain!   It was nice to chat with someone who has recently been there and was also a rookie.  Hope!  There is hope!

So the workouts have been on hold for four days.  Since I had plenty of time on my hands at the airport yesterday I did some walking.  Lots and lots of walking.  A three hour walk to be precise.  I don't think this is what Jared had in mind when he said I need to do some workouts that are long and it was hardly an endurance exercise but it did keep me in my fat burning zone 2 for three hours.  My feet were killing me when I was done.  Thank goodness I packed some extra sweats.  :)

My workouts last week with Jason last week were intense.  He brought out two interesting new torture devices: battle ropes and the prowler.  Holy shit.  If you watch The Biggest Loser then you've seen the battle ropes.  Who knew that swinging some ropes would be so painful and exhausting.  I'm wimpy!  The prowler reminded me of a plow.  It was pretty tough as well, but not as bad as the ropes.  It's a good thing that was the last exercise for the night.  I was spent.

So that leads me into this week.  I have got to double down this week and pick up the pace.  Weekend workouts are about to get a lot longer and the diet is going to have to be strict this week to try to undo some of this past weekend.

I found a pretty good new breakfast recipe.  It's a good substitute for oatmeal.  It's a spiced quinoa with apples.  Pretty good stuff.  Also, my friend Kate had passed on an awesome stuffed peppers recipe.  I don't love the peppers part, but the filling is really awesome in a burrito with some scrambled eggs for breakfast.  I'll probably be eating a lot of that this week.

My to-do list for the rest of the week:

1.  90 minute minimum workouts Tuesday-Friday
2.  Two-a-days on Saturday and Sunday
3.  No more than 1500 calories a day for the next two weeks and not a single item from a restaurant
4.  Get my sleep schedule back on track

Until next week...

Week Nine

No more Mr. Nice Trainer.  Apparently, Personal Trainer Jason has been watching P90X and Insanity workout video infomercials all week because that is a lot what my workouts with him resembled this week.  Holy shit.  Yep.  This calls for cuss words.  There is no other way  for me to add the appropriate amount of emphasis.  Yeah, yeah, I know swearing is ignorant and all that, but those of you that know (and love) me, know that I have a potty mouth.  To say it was the hardest thing I have survived is an accurate statement.  Kind of pathetic, but accurate.  I would like to emphasize the word "survived".  By the end of it I laid down (ok so I fell down) on the turf and told Jason he was mean and that I hated him.  He replied with a chuckle and something like, "Good!  That means I did a good job!"  Sadist.

We had decided a couple weeks ago that we need to kick it up a notch and he did just that!  Simply making it through these new routines is truly a challenge.  We are "waking up" muscles that I don't think have been used in years.  There for a while, I was getting off pretty easy.  I was waking up nearly every day without that 'who beat the crap out of me in my sleep' feeling.  It's back!  I kind of don't mind it.  It feels like accomplishment.

I got back on the treadmill regularly for the first time in a couple weeks.  The antibiotic side effects aren't completely gone, but have dissipated enough to get me moving like I should be.  Hopefully, next week I can get after it a little more intensely. Running is still very difficult and I look like a hot mess when I do it.  I can't go for very long still, only a few minutes.  My recovery time continues to improve so at least I can get after it much more quickly each time.  My feet are still a nightmare.  The cramping just doesn't seem to be improving no matter how much stretching and massaging I do.  Plantar Fasciitis is also making me want to drop to the ground in pain each morning.  So frustrating!!!

So my gym has this program called Parisi Speed School.  I don't know all the details of the program, but essentially it's a training program to help build strength and endurance in runners.  They workout around the same time I do.  Remember a few weeks back when I referenced Dream Runner Hilaree?  Well, I think I have met the real life version.  This girl just seems to float when she runs and she probably thinks I am a total creeper because I look on with envy.  Did I mention this girl is only about 11 or 12 years old?  She is more athletic than I ever could imagine being and she makes it look so effortless.  I never would have thought I would aspire to be like an 11 or 12 year old!  I guess we can learn from all ages.

I still don't understand the whole hydration/nutrition while working out thing, I suppose because I am not working out as hard as a seasoned runner.   I know when I am thirsty, but I don't understand what people mean when they talk about using the gels during their runs.  How do you know when you need them?  Are you supposed to keep a granola bar or something with you?  I just don't get this part because I have been able to stand to exert myself this much.  Mike or Jared, maybe this would be a good topic for one of you to tackle?

I have a renewed sense of drive this week.  Last week was definitely a low point.  Month end is always a little bit of a nightmare with my stress level at work adding fuel to the fire. Take that and add not feeling well and it made for a real dud.

I keep waiting for that whole "runner's high" thing to happen, I guess in my case it would be just a general exercise high since the whole running thing isn't coming together so well.  I think my endorphins are broken.  Do those come in pill form?  If so, I need a script for that!  I bet Jared, PharmD could answer that one.  ;)

I'm really looking forward to my Chicago trip for St. Patty's Day.  I really need a get away and to see some friends.  My friend Kristen and I had thrown around the idea of doing a 5k on Saturday morning, but we decided to scratch it in favor of fun.  I know this is not great for my training, but I really need a sanity break.

Lessons Learned:

1.  Body Glide is the best product ever.  I wish they made a Body Glide shower.  I could just coat myself in that stuff.  It is now essential to every workout, no matter what I do.

2.  Several day-to-day things that I didn't even realize had become difficult are now easier as I get stronger.  Things like getting up off the floor and walking up and down the stairs quickly.  I have also noticed that my normal pace when walking around the office, in a parking lot, etc. has picked up a bit and carrying in several bags of groceries is a breeze.  Pathetic, yes, but this is supposed to be an honest account of this process and those are some everyday things that I can do with ease now.  I am choosing to celebrate the small things since the big things are going to take a while.

3.  I am no the proud owner of some dorky weight lifting gloves to try to keep calluses away from my hands.  I was getting my nails done the other day and was called out by my manicurist about my rough hands.  If she things that's bad, she's lucky I didn't ask for a pedicure because my feet are atrocious.

4.  My diet and cravings are still my biggest challenge.  I'm an emotional (over)eater and while I am getting better, it is still very much a struggle.  Thanks to all of you who have passed on great recipes.  I have tried some really great dishes thanks to your suggestions.

I have some really great people in my corner!  I am so incredibly shocked at the number of people who have reached out to comment on posts or on Facebook.  Never in a million years would I have thought more than the 4 immediate family members, wait make that 3 since Dad hates the internet, would care about what I was doing and show so much support.  I know that if I don't give this my all, even if that means not finishing, I will have some serious explaining to do!  Here is a link to another article that contains some wisdom.  

And another thing...

I completely forgot that I wanted to include this link.  I found this on CNN this morning and related to it so much I had to share.  Right down to the plantar fasciitis!  If you have ever suffered from that, you know the meaning of pain!  When I first read this I started clapping: someone who gets me!

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/01/health/fit-nation-stacy-runner/index.html

Week Eight

Eight weeks down, eight weeks to go.  Half way there, but feeling further away than ever.  This may be a little TMI for some of you, so be warned.

Having a sister that is a nurse and a brother that is a pharmacist makes me think I too am a medically trained professional.  I have a habit of diagnosing myself with all kinds of illnesses some of which include pertussis, H1N1, clostridium difficile, anemia, and solar dermatitis just to name a few.  I even diagnosed one of my co-workers the other day.  I was even correct with that one!  Who needs a medical degree?  With Google, I can do anything.  So anyway, last week I was not feeling good at all.  All things were pointing to a UTI so I grabbed some cranberry juice and started pushing lots of fluids determined to flush out whatever was bugging me.  Well, that didn't work.  Starting Tuesday night I had extreme back pain to go with it.

At first I thought the back pain was from working out.  I had a pretty tough training session that evening so I thought the back ache was from that.  I have a pretty strong threshold for pain, but when it wakes me up out of a heavy sleep I know it's bad.  I popped a couple Advil, grabbed my heating pad, and laid back down.  I took my temperature, but no fever so I went back to bed.  This went on the next night as well.  Since I didn't have a primary care physician I consulted my other medical team: my siblings.  Meagan works the night shift which is great on nights when  I can't sleep!  It's nice to be able to text for help.  She said I better get to a doctor.  One of my coworkers called her doctor and spoke to him personally, I guess she has known him forever, and asked if he could take a look at me.  So I went in and had some lab work done and sure enough I have a "severe" ascending UTI.  Finally!  A correct self diagnosis!!  Infection=Antibiotics.  Uh oh.

I have been very fortunate with my health.  In the past 10 years I can only think of 3 times that I have had to take an antibiotic.  One of those times was when I was certain I had c.diff as a result of those antibiotics.  I do not react well to antibiotics.  I am lucky enough to get the most unpleasant of the side effects.  Side effects that make running, jogging, lifting weights, or any other movement risky to say the least.  As a result my workouts really suffered.  I did make it to the gym, but my workouts were not what they needed to be.  They were probably some of the lightest to date.  I also had to scrap one of my training sessions last week.  That's not good for the routine.  Not good at all.

While I was visiting the doctor the other day he asked me the dreaded question that I have been asked in every doctors appointment for the last 5 years: What are you doing about your weight?  I fight back tears every time I get this question.  Let's see, what haven't I tried?  I have tried Weight Watchers three times and failed three times.  I have tried The South Beach Diet only to find that a life without carbs is no life I want to lead.  I have tried prescription phentermine and similar over-the-counter stimulants that not only make me want to climb the walls, but are also a really bad idea for people with generalized anxiety like myself, unless of course you are looking for the mother of all panic attacks that will keep you from living like a normal human being for at least a week.  Let's see Doc, what am I doing about my weight?  Let's talk about that.

For starters, I signed up for a 1/2 marathon that I have absolutely no chance of finishing at this point.  I am going to the gym 6 days a week and spending every extra penny I have on personal training and a gym membership.  I am not enjoying the foods  I love.  I am becoming accustomed to sore muscles and achy feet.  I am doing my best to eat a balanced diet.  I am not drinking diet coke, or any other soda for that matter.  I am not drinking alcohol.  I truly miss enjoying a cold beer at the end of a long day at work.  I am spending half of each lunch break walking laps in the parking lot or making a mad dash home because I forgot my gym bag and I know that if I don't go to the gym straight from work the chances of me getting there that day decrease by at least 95%.  I am making sure that at least 80% of the items in my grocery cart are fruits and veggies.  I have been doing this for eight weeks.  Oh yeah doc, and did I mention I haven't lost a single pound?  Not more than 1 inch?  Please, remind me again that I need to whittle away at my BMI, because I had no idea that I am tipping the scale more than 100 pounds higher that I should be.  I don't know if he was ready for my sarcastic, angry response to his question.

My appointment wasn't all bad.  It was actually kinda of reassuring.  Dr. Small said he wasn't surprised to hear that I have not lost any weight yet.  This is something my brother has tried to drive into my head as well.  In my mind, every time I get on the treadmill I am burning at least 900 calories, when in reality I am not moving very fast or very far.  He was happy to hear that I have established a healthier routine. He wanted to do a follow up in 6 months just to see how it is going.  He said if I haven't lost at least 25 pounds by August then we should do some lab work and look into a referral to a bariatric specialist.  Bariatric Specialist?  I think that might have been a scary enough suggestion to amp up this workout routine.

So this week my news is less about my progress and more about the discouraging things that hold me back.  I know that 8 weeks isn't nearly enough time to turn around 10 years of bad habits.  I know that it's harder to make good choices than convenient choices when it comes to exercise and diet.  I know all those sensible things, but I wish it wasn't so damn hard!

Lessons learned:

1.  Sticking with it is MORE than half the battle in my case.  It's the entire battle.
2.  Acid reflux sucks and Advil makes it worse.
3.  Confidence definitely comes in waves with this thing.  8 weeks ago I was ready to kick this races ass.  8 weeks to go and I am ready to throw in the towel.